Tag: writing

Reader Unlikely to Care About Little Miss Smug*

Michelle Heimburger3 Comments

*Actual note from my writing teacher on my first chapter. (I’m just hoping he was talking about my narrator.)

Well, I had my first critique in my writing class today, and I survived, though I’m not sure my novel will — at least not in its current form. My classmates were mostly encouraging, but the teacher had a big problem with the voice of my narrator. I had worried that she might be unlikeable because she’s snarky and judgmental and more than a little bitter, but he was more concerned that writing it in her voice would alienate readers, that she was like being pinned down by an obnoxious person at a party who invades your personal space to rant at you. He’s got a point, though I admit I quite like listening to snarky people rant (when I can close the book/browser to shut them up). Being so inside her head makes it hard to see the rest of the characters or the world they’re in.

At least I’m only about 40 pages in, so rewriting now is better than having to rewrite a whole novel…

I’ve Got the Picture Book Word Count Blues

Michelle HeimburgerLeave a comment

Woohoo! I’ve finished another revision of my current favorite children’s story, made some brutal edits to reduce the length, and when I read it aloud a few times, it sounded pretty good. I’m usually very critical of my own work, so when I get something to the point where I actually like it, I’m flying high. Hey, if I like it, this thing must be half-decent!

And then I started looking for agents to query. Wheeee! There goes the rollercoaster right back down again. First off, even among kidlit agents, there aren’t many who want picture books for older kids (the upper end of the PB market, that is: 4-7-year-olds). Of those, most don’t want rhyming books. And no one, anywhere, seems to want a book of more than 1,000 words – 400-600 seems to be what they’re looking for. Mine’s nearly 1,200, in rhyme, after serious editing. Damn.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I love a good minimalist picture book. Some stories, even for older kids, just don’t need a lot of text. “I Want My Hat Back” and “Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!” are two current faves in our house, and they’re 253 and 161 respectively. Plenty of books that seem longer (but are still in the acceptable bedtime-story range) are 800-900, like the Octonauts books, the longer Julia Donaldson books, and plenty of fairytales.

Some classic children’s books have much, much higher word counts and can evoke a feeling of dread when bedtime is already being dragged out and the kid announces, “Let’s read Eloise!” I love Eloise, but at over 3,000 words it’s a bit much for sleepy parents. Same goes for “Dr. Seuss’s Sleep Book,” which at 1,700+ can put the entire family to sleep, including the person reading it from memory with their eyes closed. (Note that the four-year-old’s attention span is not a problem with these longer books – though she’s a little bookworm and we read lots of chapter books to her with no attention problems.)

But some of my very favorite (rhyming, no less!) books are above the desirable 600-word ceiling and definitely don’t feel too long for bedtime. “Bubble Trouble” is 832, “Iggy Peck, Architect” is 699, “The Pirate Cruncher” is 928. Maybe these are exceptions, but it seems to me that lots of favorite books in our household are in that general range. I’m not saying that my book is as good as those examples (and thus should also be an exception), just that there clearly is a market for books of that length, so it’s frustrating that agents/editors don’t want them. I know it’s about trends in publishing and shorter books are in favor right now, but I’m left feeling frustrated and disappointed that the book I really wanted to write, that I thought I wrote pretty well, probably doesn’t stand a chance.

I haven’t even sent a query letter and I’m already feeling rejected.

Doctor Tractor

Michelle Heimburger1 Comment

My 18-month-old son is obsessed with tractors. Or maybe he’s obsessed with the word “tractor,” because he calls anything or anyone on wheels (including, embarrassingly, people in wheelchairs) “tractor.” He knows the words “car” and “bus” and “bike” and “train.” He just likes to call them tractors.

He also gets stuck in verbal ruts, as toddlers are wont to do. He’ll fixate on a word for ten minutes at a time, saying it over and over to the point where it becomes hilarious, then slightly irritating, then a droning background noise, then hilarious again. “Bubbles. Bubbles. Bubbles. Bubbles! BUBBLES! Bubbles. Bubbles.” And so on.

But when he gets going on “tractor” his pronunciation gets a little weird. It starts out as the normal version of “tractor,” then often shifts between “tracTOR!” and “tracta,” but sometimes it sounds very much like “doctor.” One day as he was saying “Tractor. Tractor! TracTOR! Tracta. Doctor. Tractor. Doctor. TracTOR!” and his sister and I couldn’t stop giggling at him, I decided I would write a book for him called Doctor Tractor. I started to work on it yesterday and I think I’ve figured out the story.

(Photo by Patrick Dalton)
(Photo by Patrick Dalton)

Doctor Tractor is a country doctor who makes his house calls on an old tractor, hence the nickname (he’s a little James Herriot and a little like the old guy in The Straight Story). One day he gets a frantic call from a farmer who’s new to the area, saying “Loretta” needs help quickly. Doctor Tractor rushes over and discovers that Loretta is, in fact, a tractor. He explains to the confused farmer that he’s not a mechanic, but the farmer is too upset over Loretta to understand. But Doctor Tractor has good barnside manner and offers to take a look. Using his medical tools, he gives the tractor a check-up and somehow his first aid brings the tractor back to life — only she’s not just a tractor anymore.

What do you think of the premise? Too weird? Not weird enough?

Work in Progress Peepshow

Michelle HeimburgerLeave a comment
Image
(Photo by Konstantin Lazorkin)

I’m in the middle of a manuscript-swap critique with another mystery writer, and while I’m looking forward to his feedback on my novel, I have to say I’ve really enjoyed the experience of reading his with a critical eye.

There’s a voyeuristic thrill reading a work-in-progress. You’re seeing someone’s imagination half-dressed, not quite ready to present itself to the world all dolled up and polished. It’s rough around the edges (and sometimes all the way through), maybe riddled with typos, and not entirely sure of itself. Tense and point-of-view are shifting, ephemeral. Characters haven’t quite found their voices. And that’s kind of cool.

I’m not speaking philosophically about the beauty of imperfection (though I do happen to think perfection is boring, aesthetically speaking), but literally about seeing the way another writer approaches the ideas of plot and character development and pacing. It’s like watching a house under construction, seeing all the framing and layers you take for granted when you walk through someone’s dining room, and the cool thing, especially when you’re reading a stranger’s work, is not even knowing what the house is actually going to look like when it’s completed.

I’m mixing my metaphors now. Probably should have put some stockings on those I-beams.